Tuesday, December 4, 2012

A Woman's Blonde spot

Let me begin by saying every woman is unique. She has her own habits, likes/dislikes, fears, insecurities etc. Sister, you name it, we have it.
We also have what i just infamously coined, a blonde spot.
A woman's ego is far worse than a man's. If you tamper with it, chances are, she has already strangled you in her brain. Men have a knack to be passive about things, a woman can only pretend to do so.
I tried to observe a woman's reaction to many things, taking only the basics, Career, personal life and Girl friends.
This piece below is my personal opinion and i know a lot of feminists would raise eyebrows but what the heck, the internet gave me free space, i'm using it.

I'm going to take this section by section. Let's start with what every woman considers her first priority.

1) Career
In reality it's the personal life but what the hell.

Women are natural multi taskers. If there is something you just can't win with them (other than an argument), it's multi tasking. She can sip her coffee, shout at a colleague and still finish writing her notes and you'd find yourself standing with a what-the-hell-is-she expression.
At work, a woman juggles responsibilities, she is ambitious. To challenge her work ethics is a big no but you can definitely find a way around her blonde spot. And how?
This is how.
Only person a woman is either very polite to or is a massive bitch with is a younger female colleague. She plays a mind game between her motherly instincts while being guarded about the principles of her work position.
Of course, to be fair. There are extremists too. For example, we all know the famous Miranda Presley from Devil wears Prada.

Now if you don't shit in your pants when your female boss looks at you like that, you're just too much of a stud to be working my friend.
Getting back, a friend of mine had the discriminating opportunity to work under a female boss. On days her boss was pmsing, she literally counted each minute on her fingers. Prolly even prayed for her to die. God forbid, your female boss is unmarried then you're in for shit for the rest of your living life. Why? Because she's not getting any. That's why.
A female boss would never exhibit her insecurities in front of the younger colleague. She always wants to feel at par or rather above par. She'd challenge the generation gap and show you how she also enjoys listening to Blink182. That's when you take advantage of the situation and press the right button. You wanted her blonde spot. There it is. It's You.
You don't realize you are sitting under her nose and  have access to her inflammable ego, excruciating insult to her grey hair and lack of acceptance. 
Believe me, works like magic.
Next time she looks at you with a condescending expression, you and only you, dear younger lady, can make that flesh melt off her face.

2) Personal Life
This is my personal favorite

I'm going to wrap this section with a conversation between two friends( who are dating) i had the glorious chance to be part of.
He: There is really funny girl at work, she's just joined in and really mixed well with everyone.
She: That's cool. She in your department?
A terrifically general and non judgmental question. For some.
He: Nah, but she has some meetings with our team. She is that PR dude's assistant.
She: Oh, okay.
Alright, don't care. 
He: I like the fact that my office has started hiring younger people man, it was getting shit boring looking at oldies.
She: I bet. We have a cool team at my work place. Few guys and girls. Good crowd.
He: Uh huh
Trust me, guys don't care.
She: And somehow all these youngsters just add to the whole fun vibe at work.
He: Oh hell yeah! This new chick i just told you about? She is just 23 man. And smart and bloody witty.
She: Oh..
He: And i have a feeling she's going to take this office by storm. She's a nutcase!
Guys don't really know when to stop.
She: I'm sure. You guys talked?
Trust me, not in a good way.
He: Not really. Had a few laughs, nothing much though. I guess she was nervous. 
She: Now i know why that dude hired her. 
Here it is.
He: Oh no man, We thought the same coz she's like hot too. But after talking to her, she's good to be in that department
She: Oh. So she is young and hot and funny. Just disappointing to see people hiring just for an eye candy.
He: Babe, you haven't even talked to her?!
She: And i'm okay with that.

Weird silence i wish i wasn't part of.

That obviously must have molded into a possessive fight of sorts. 
There is something disturbing about a younger woman in your man's life. No matter how much you trust your guy, no matter what, at some level, there is always this spark of jealousy that EVERY woman has which she won't show. 


3) Girlfriends
Where the real bitches rule.

Nothing on this planet is more fierce and publicly entertaining than a bitch fight. 
Every woman in her heart, no matter how golden-ish or nice, is in competition with another woman. There is a reason why everyone woman in her life has once said, "Why does she have that!?" and if you claim to have never said it, you're just shitting with me.
A girlfriend is something every woman needs and doesn't want at the same time.
And a younger  girlfriend is just a big time joke you and i will eventually share. Nothing can piss a woman off more than a younger skin, dominance on men and more time ( age ). 
I was with my girlfriends once and it was one of my friend's birthday. So at midnight, after a long session of gossip, men and the works, the birthday girl snatches off the neck piece from our friend's neck and says,"It's my birthday, i'm turning older and i will not allow you to look better than me on my birthday".
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. yes. it's true.

We laughed like mad monkeys but she just innocently exposed  me to one of life's unsaid but visible fact. 

                                             A woman's blonde spot is a younger woman 
                                                                   Write that down and you heard it from me first.

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