Thursday, September 27, 2012

That Fake-3 Party

"Oh hello dahlin", came an exasperated hello from probably the oldest lady in that party.
You are forced to think whether she invited her daughter for this event or not . On the contrary, if you observe that lady, she would have the maximum amount of makeup on, the best figure in the business and is wearing an Armani dress with a signature "Alzerina" necklace ( Psst. Here: .
Just then you want to run to the ladies room and have a closer look at that zit you thought people wouldnt even notice. Its ok, you dont care about it( atleast you pretend to). At that very moment though, a loud fake "oooh" catches your attention, "my my where did you get these divine stillettoes from?", and you slowly look down and try to get a view between those super model long legs, of those gorgeous stilettoes. As expected, the model wasn't so amused you disrespected her short dress by utilising her legs as a telescope for own selfish needs, my face- a " Kodak" moment.
The lady turned to her minion friends and made a rather shocking remark," that was the ugliest piece of footwear i have ever seen since 15 years of my experience", i was forced to stare with my mouth open like a pig ready to be slaughtered.So i decided to move ahead from the "Good looks can kill and if your ugly
god save you" gang and looked for a drink. Sipping onto a pint i felt a wierd atmosphere around me, a group of women were talking in my direction and making faces which didn't exactly look inviting or warm. "How uncouth!" i heard one of them say, "huh" was that first thing that came into my mind and i kept the drink away feeling downright awkward.
The most fascinating thing about a page 3 party is that everybody wants to be with everybody yet wants to kill the person standing across them. I tried to get into the minds of some, and this is the conversation i overheard -
    Lady 1: Good evening honey, what a pleasant surprise!
in reality: *&%#$^ How did your name get in my guest list in the first place!!!

    Lady 2: How could i miss your beautiful party for the world!
in reality: yeah right, i was plain bored and wanted entertainment!

    Lady 1: ofcourse ofcourse! How are your kids and husband doing?
in reality: i hope your kids broke that expensive vase of yours and your daughter burned all your clothes.

    Lady 2: Oh all are absolutely fine! My kids were thinking of you as well.
in reality: they think your a wretched witch as well darling.

I think that was enough venom for the evening in their conversation. I dont think there was one chick there who wore a dress below a Cavalli. I kind of also understood why i got those beautiful stares while i had my pint, women weren't supposed to drink beer here. They only stick to their cocktails. Cocktails with names you wouldn't understand for nearly 3 minutes and when you do, you see the bartender lose interest and attend to that gorgeous super thin chick. Honestly, one can develop the most dangerous complex in such parties but i am actually having fun. Its more of a lesson here, you learn how people are, the super snob upper class.
Fake lashes, Botox, diamonds, armani clothes, Gucci shoes... you would get everything! You would want to scrutinize every woman wearing that fake laugh in the party but you cant resist coming back for some more fun!
"oh hello dahlin", and i smile with the same fake smile as she was, wondering," who the heck cares".

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