Sunday, October 14, 2012

IT Bag Burn Book

Recently, a very famous Fashion personality made a rather phenomenal comment of his own creation, he said, " You need space for the beach towel and then you can put it into the sand and hang things on it"
Mr. Karl Lagerfeld on the latest Chanel beach bag.

Now, this is just WRONG!

I don't think in his mind he realized he is talking about the uber gorgeous Chanel bag which people would normally balance on their stomach than put it "deep down" into the sand.
I am speaking true, crude middle class stuff here.

That bag is so iconic, so inventive and forces you to hit yourself for being poor. In every way. 
It took me a week to get over my amazement at this bag, believe me, the last time i gaped at a bag this hard was, well, never.
I know what half of you are thinking. Who and when and HOW will anyone carry this?
Now please take my advice and DO NOT ever ask a love-sick fashion follower this particular question. It's not just going to be a big ride of listening to fashion history bullshit but also similar insults on your present attire and maybe even your lack of appreciation for the arts etc.

I am thoroughly venting out my frustration here. The thing is, i will actually someday end my life singing the importance of preaching fashion only when you have knowledge and all those biggies with money and a boob job are going to carry all the god damn IT bags! Its such an unfair world. 

Unfair reminds me, I took the pain to watch an episode of "Keeping up with the Kardashians", Jesus lord, this It bag burn book just got a whole new meaning. First, i was going to limit myself to only on the sorcery of the middle class world but i just had an unsaid dis respect for the upper class after that show. 

For anyone and everyone who didn't know, All celebrities have personal stylists. Yes. They just say i want a red bag and every show dog in the industry kills himself to get the perfect "IT" red bag. I want to take a day off  from my regular whining and be a reporter. That's right. I want to ask each celebrity to answer one simple question, "Is Versace a boy or a girl?" I swear to god, i bet only a handful would know the original designer was a male, till his half male sister took over after his death. 

I think being middle class has its own perks. We get to choose from dozens of stolen designs, horrible patterned and off-the-hook copied IT bags. And we feel great.

Every time i walk out of a mall and i see women carry Louis Vuitton bags, i shrug and say Hong Kong. Why? Because i feel great. You see, women have this inside desire to own everything. They also have that knack to abuse the shit out of you if you own it instead of them. 

The most unfortunate aspect about someone carrying an IT bag is that bitch is definitely going to carry the loudest color. No. Unless its the logo winner, everyone wants to carry the loudest colors. Why? Because you're an idiot if you ignore it's shine on your face, that's why.

So lesson learnt is the next time you see an It bag, ignore it.

Not only would it fetch you unsaid respect from your fellow rich people. But also this insane ego boost.

Tried and tested. And successful.

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