Tuesday, May 7, 2013

What Not To Wear On Your First Date?

Back in the days, when man started forcing his penis everywhere, compatible or not, philosophers devised a solution. They came up with something called the Law of Attraction. Something that defined science originally, but what the hell, we are humans; we pull everything from each other and term it as ours. Law of attraction for us is all about Like minded people repelling and opposites attracting. This created what I coined sexual etiquettes. Men and women restricted themselves to being with people based on compatibility. Years went by, and humans started paying attention to details to please their partners. In terms of clothes, from tea leaves to yoga pants, we have come a long long way.
It is 2013 and even though we are far ahead of our naked times, there is still a lot of scope for faux paus in terms of the clothes we wear. Most times, in the desperate attempt to leave a good impression, especially on our first date, we forget to pay attention to the basics. All I’m trying to say is you don’t have to look like a million dollars (and literally), you can just do with basic clothing keeping in mind some don’ts and you are ready to go. Since many of us believe that only women give a damn about what they wear on their first date, i want to take this moment to remind you that men are closet girls. They care. They give a lot of fuck to what they’re wearing when they meet girls, first date or the very last.
I have made this unisexual list of the top 3 what NOT to wear on your first date.
1) Survival of the “fittest”
Ladies and gentlemen, if your denims don’t fit you, you don’t survive the test. Unlike the myth, women also tend to check out a men’s back side. So guys, please, not asking you to go Paris Hilton on your bottom but make an effort to entice a woman. And ladies, we all know why squats are so important to you but just go easy on your pants. Skin fit, fit whatever type. Just don’t overdo it. Slight elegance is very sexy too.
2) If you can’t win em, ‘float’ em.
How we all love having a romantic time during the rains. But somehow all that love just wears off the minute i see a man/woman sporting floaters or the infamous Crocs. I swear if i wanted to give myself a direction I would have stayed home and had chocolate. There is something extremely revolting about crocs, and when they are sported with socks (no no don’t irk, I have seen such species) acid puke is all that comes to my mind. Do me a favour, burn them.
3) Peek a Boo!
I’m sure you’ve heard a man’s intelligence is to a woman what a woman’s cleavage is to a man. But what does a man’s cleavage do to a woman? Let me answer that. It makes us want to sell our expensive bags just to buy the first ticket to the long lost Atlantic, far away from you. A V neck for a man is as a big NO as a deep V neck it to a woman. Ladies, I know making an impression is important but let the man respect you enough to want to see your cleavage without you pasting it on his face.
You see, it really isn’t all that tough. What you wear speaks a lot about how you want to be seen by others. It’s an expression. Although we are in a free country et all, these are just some basic pointers one can keep in mind not to be the laughing stock post a good date. ‘Cause sweetie, just talking and knowing five important Presidents won’t get you what you want. Follow them. Hopefully, you’d be invited for a good coffee post your first date. Yes. The real coffee.

                                               ( Also Published in 21fools.com )

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